The Week in Poetry

Forums
So I was banned from the EVE Online forums this week. Until March 08 2012. Obstensibly for personal attacks. The posts have been removed, but they still live on at Chribba's EVE Search.

It started when a special snowflake wrote a short, strange paragraph on the right of players not to engage in PvP if they do not wish to do so:

I'll give you one example to consider. My corp harbours someone with a weak heart condition. He has already suffered a near fatal heart attack after being ambushed in high sec during a war dec. It took me a long time to convince him to re-subscribe. Do not deny him his right to play this game as peacefully as he chooses or else go to the CSM and have CCP change their product advertisement and include a health warning.

I found that to be all-too-self-serving, to state that we should think twice before PvPing because some unnamed gentleman with a heart problem, was out there, somewhere, in EVE Online.

My response is what got me the ban:

If SUDDENLY PVP can nearly kill your friend, then:

A) EVE Online is not the game for him.

B) Changing the game for one person is unfair to several thousand others.

C) It was irresponsible of you to convince him to resubscribe. If he dies while playing EVE, it could well be your fault. He could have been playing Star Trek Online instead, still alive, and happy.

Perhaps it was the mention of death that confused the CCP forum moderator. I certainly do not wish death on the gentleman with the weak heart. Was simply illustrating the absurdity of the special snowflake's story.

Snowflake responded, more preposterously than before:

It would be my fault if I did not come on this forum and state the position. Now it's your fault if you agress without thought to the potential consequences. CCP could very well recommend that he does not play if they choose to do that. But that would not cover the hundreds of other people quietly developing high cholesterol (pizza) and damaged liver (booze) that are playing the game.

I did not convince anyone to do anything.

I never got a chance to reply. Snowflake reported my post and CCP handed down the ban. Too bad. That level of absurdity requires repeated public rebukes. So, now, anytime anyone PvPs in highsec, especially of the ganking variety, they could now be responsible for the death of some dude with a weak heart. Since the fellow is nameless, he could very well be anyone. Thus, all PvP should cease. Think of the poor 300lb sloths who play this game. Their health is at stake, and it's now our fault, because special snowflake has passed the blame on to all of us with one forum post. Her logic is staggering.

She said she didn't convince him to return to EVE, even though that's exactly what she said in her first bit of nonsense on the entire subject.

It might all be a blessing in disguise. I was spending too much time on the forums. A forced break will be good. That entire meta-game, especially on the forums, can be over-consuming. In the words of Michael Corleone . . . .

Silentbrick
EVE University's illustrious admiral, their head of PvP, went on a recent rant at his blog about me. It's no secret that I have very little respect for him, but I haven't written about him on my blog in a very long time, maybe months. So, I wonder what set him off at this point in time? Perhaps the ripple effect of those past rants of mine having their desired effect? Somebody said something about his lack of leadership? Maybe a growing movement in the University to get him ousted? He probably blames me for taking the shine off his reputation as a bad-ass and a military genius.

Silentbrick fed his ego through being the University's admiral. It is certainly an impressive title to newbies, even if you barely do anything to warrant it's application. Perhaps some of that cachet has been vanishing recently?

Most of the EVE University vets know he's a bit of a joke. But he's easy to ignore, because he's rarely ever online. As such he doesn't get in anyone's way when it comes to running University PvP. When he does decide that he should make his presence known, it's usually for one big op that ends up failing miserably. Recently the loss of a University capital fleet, full of failfit (or so I've been told) dreadnoughts. And in the past, having Russians online your SBU right under your very own nose. He stages one of these ops, then disappears again for another month or two. As much as most of the PvP vets in the University think he's mostly a joke, he's not involved enough often enough to bother trying to get him replaced with someone competent.

So, I linked his rant. Fair's fair, I suppose. And I know he wants people to read it.

If there's one thing I've known talking with megalomaniacs, it's never let them think you don't respect them and never let them think they aren't in control of the conversation. The discussion goes a lot smoother (and quicker) if you let them butter themselves up.

If anyone knows what provoked this outburst from The Admiral, I'd love to know.

War Declaration
My recent tweet about the pony fad, wondering when the ridiculous thing is finally going to die, brought upon some ire from folks who don't know when the horse (or pony) is long dead.

I was inundated with lots of tweets from alts, mostly folks from PonyWaffe, who seem to be regretting their tired corporation name. Folks trading on a prosaic meme and hoping to shine on some of that GoonWaffe cachet.

And then a PonyWaffe alt decided to wardec me. Funny stuff. I am now at war with my abandoned love children. Although judging from the corp membership, it's just an abandoned love child. He or she is welcome to come down to Stain to teach me an equine lesson.

Apparently I'm in rage mode about all of this. Even though this is the first I've mentioned it. I actually find it kind of funny, that folks would go to the trouble of creating alt Twitter accounts to link me some pony photos, or create an alt simply to wardec me for a week. Unlike the Uni, I don't need to hide from war declarations. I can operate under them just fine, without seven pages of rules.